Reports from The Resistance Journal Entry #328
TL;DR: Yes, we’ve all heard it — “70% of change projects fail.” No, it’s not true. But like a bad pharma ad, it keeps getting prescribed anyway.
Tired of nuance in your change management conversations?
Wish you could impress executives with a single number, without all those pesky details?
Now you can — with Seventyprol™.
Clinically unproven since the 1990s, Seventyprol™ is the most prescribed statistic in change management. Just one dose can make your strategy deck look credible, your training program feel urgent, and your consulting pitch sound bulletproof.
Side effects may include:
- Severe eye-rolling from experienced practitioners
- Temporary loss of trust when someone asks, “Where did that number come from?”
- Over-reliance on folklore instead of data
- In rare cases, budget cuts due to fatalism (“If 70% fail anyway, why bother?”)
Do not use Seventyprol™ if you’re allergic to evidence, allergic to context, or working with executives who ask hard questions.
Talk to your change practitioner today about alternatives to Seventyprol™, such as Actual Data™, Case Studies XR™, or the powerful new breakthrough, Contextual Insight™.
Because you deserve more than a recycled number. You deserve results.
Seventyprol™ — ask for it by name. But please, don’t actually use it.
ChangeGuild: Power to the Practitioner™
Frequently Asked Questions (That Nobody Asked)
Q: What exactly is Seventyprol™?
A: A highly effective placebo. It won’t improve your change outcomes, but it will make your slides sound confident enough that no one asks questions until it’s too late.
Q: Where did the 70% failure stat come from?
A: The same place as Bigfoot, crop circles, and motivational posters in the breakroom: lots of sightings, no solid evidence.
Q: Is Seventyprol™ FDA approved?
A: No, but it’s been grandfathered into countless leadership keynotes without review.
Q: What are the side effects?
A: Mild to severe eye-rolling, credibility loss, and occasional outbreaks of executive fatalism. In rare cases, permanent damage to practitioner morale.
Q: What happens if I stop taking Seventyprol™?
A: You may experience sudden clarity, evidence-based decision-making, and awkward silences when you ask leaders for real metrics.
Q: Who should take Seventyprol™?
A: Anyone who prefers a catchy soundbite over actual data. Also popular with executives who like their statistics as mythical as their unicorn valuations.
Ready to Stop the Spread?
Tired of watching the 70% zombie stat stumble through slide decks and strategy sessions? So are we.
At ChangeGuild, we don’t hand out Seventyprol™. We hand out the tools, tactics, and truths you actually need to survive in the trenches of change.
Subscribe today — because your practice deserves better than bad math.
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